The way home (part 2) and ...

not sure how that is a comfortable sleep...

playing with Misha

on the swings in our backyard with Sam

So… Here we sit in Toronto. Ivanna slept from around 3:00am (NFLD time) to 7:20ish, which is good. We played, had breakfast, got cleaned up and dressed then went for a walk – to the airport as the other direction had no sidewalks. It took less than 10 minutes to walk there. We walked inside a bit (it was about 7 Celcius in St. John’s this morning – so inside walking was good after being acclimatized to over 30 for the last 3-4 weeks!) and had a coffee at Tim Hortons and introduced Ivanna to donuts (pretty big hit). We walked back and then did the last second packing up and grabbed the shuttle back to the airport. Our girl was pretty tired by the time our flight was loading and had a bit of a fit as I tried to settle her and hold her so that she might sleep. We eventually tried some soft chewy candies (actually – oops – I bought sour candies and so had to suck the sour sugar off then she would eat them) which kept her quiet for seconds to minutes at a time. She slowly got tired though and even though she still was fussing a bit by the time the plane was taxiing her little eyelids were drooping and as we took off she fell asleep. She slept for 1 ½ hours (until I decided to try laying her down as we had an extra seat again – unfortunately she stirred and woke and didn’t go back to sleep despite probably needing it. Alas. Mom and Dad were back on. She actually did quite well for the rest of the trip and played mostly on her own in her seat with some books for most of an hour and only got a bit fussy right at the end (she really doesn’t like losing her freedom for take-off and landing!) Darren did a good job of distracting her with a puppet. Once we got into the terminal (gate service for the stroller is the most brilliant idea ever – much easier than yesterday) we had a nice meal (we were all hungry) of burgers for Darren and me (it’s been a LONG time without burger for Darren) and chicken fingers for Ivanna. Now as I write Ivanna is ripping around and playing. She’s enjoying watching the goings-on the tarmac and trying to entice her Daddy into a game of chase (which she loves, but gets incredibly riled up – which after yesterday we are trying to avoid - so Darren is doing a good job of emanating calm – or is it just the fatigue?) We are both feeling very weary and will be very glad to get home tonight. It’s still hard to believe all that has happened in the last 6 ½ weeks. In some ways it seems just like yesterday we were here waiting to leave to go the other direction and had no clue of what would happen when we got there. Now there is this amazing little girl who calls us ‘mama’ and ‘dada’ who is traveling HOME with us. There are many moments when this all still feels like a dream.

June 6th….the story continues
We are now safely home, but I will jump back to where we left off in Toronto. We managed to pass the rest of the time waiting for our flight and all were pretty exhausted by the time our boarding time came around – and passed without the plane boarding as it hadn’t arrived yet. We managed to keep Ivanna somewhat distracted from losing it (she was really tired and ready to sleep – airports are way too stimulating for toddlers!) When the plane finally arrived and we got on, she actually was pretty calm and fell asleep as the plane was taxiing. Unfortunately, it then proceeded to sit on the runway, in a line-up of planes and then the pilot came on to say that all takeoffs were being stopped as there was an electrical storm and the priority for air-traffic control was to get the planes in the air landed. We worried a bit as our connection in Winnipeg was only 40 minutes and we were approaching ½ hour delayed at this point. The positive to all this was Ivanna was sleeping (thankfully – neither of us had much for reserves to deal with a screaming kid). Eventually, we did take off, but it was an hour late. I couldn’t believe we’d come so close to only be stuck in Winnipeg for the night. Darren was quite calm about it and I just cried. I was feeling pretty desperate to just be home. Ivanna slept for pretty much the whole trip, but was quite restless and cried intermittently in her sleep – I think she was just desperate to have a comfortable space to move around (she does kind of thrash in her sleep) but was limited to the lumpiness of our laps). As we got closer to Winnipeg the pilot came on to say that we would be arriving 45 minutes late and said nothing about connecting flights, so I asked the stewardess to ask about whether we would make our connection to Saskatoon. She wasn’t sure and wasn’t able to get any answers from the flight deck as they were busy. All we could do was pray that somehow we would make it. As we landed and taxied in the pilot came on to say that the Saskatoon flight was being held for us as there were several people connecting and asked that people who weren’t on that connecting flight to remain seated and accommodate the rest of us getting off. Slava Bogu. We quickly got our stuff organized and stood up as soon as we could (along with most of the plane – so much for accommodating other passengers, people are funny). In any case we got out, grabbed the stroller and headed into the building. The Saskatoon flight had not even started to board yet – it had been delayed (what I prayed for as we left Toronto). I just sat down on a vacant seat with Ivanna and cried. The faucet was very leaky after that last and FINAL scare about not making it home that night. A few minutes later, an attendant asked if we were on the Saskatoon flight and came over to get our boarding passes and told us we could head into the plane. Ivanna had woken up on the landing from Toronto but was so tired still that she was very subdued. We settled into our seats and she quietly looked at a book and then fell asleep again as we took off. About halfway through that final and short flight, I realized my bladder would not make it to the end. We managed to shift Ivanna into Darren’s arms and I snuck out and then on my return did the reverse for Darren. Thankfully she’s mostly quite a sound sleeper. She slept right through landing into Saskatoon and just woke up with the seatbelt sign going off. She was a little trooper as we gathered our things and headed off the plane and was pretty happy to see her stroller but reached up for my hand as I walked beside her. We headed into the building and as we came out of the security area saw a sea of much-loved and missed faces in front of us. The cousins all had balloons and there was a great big sign welcoming us home. It was incredible. We were quickly surrounded by family and friends and the cousins swooped in to meet Ivanna. She did remarkably well considering she was surrounded by strangers and was exhausted. She was pretty quiet and rather stunned-looking but tolerated the adoring attention of the kids really well. They tied balloons on her stroller and gave her some to hold to (at which point she finally let go of my hand). She continued to do well, checking to see where we were when one or the other of us moved away briefly. After a lot of well wishes and hugs and a small smile or two from Ivanna as some people interacted with her, we (her parents who were not sitting down and were ready to drop) headed home in our car with Jonathan as our Chauffeur – he had picked up all our luggage and brought the car around. Ivanna didn’t fuss with the car seat – she just picked at and looked at the restraints with disdain and played with her balloons on the way home and began saying ‘paka, paka, paka’. Pretty sweet. We arrived home to a huge chalk arrow leading into our driveway and wonderful pictures and ‘welcome home’ filling the driveway. I took Ivanna directly up to her room and she went to sleep without a problem. We were completely overwhelmed by all the gifts and cards and pictures of us with Ivanna that filled our home and yard. That night Ivanna slept well until 6:30 the next morning. Darren did the same. I was awake from 2am until about 5:30 (forgotten how to sleep). Our first couple of days at home have been pretty amazing. Ivanna is adjusting well. She had quite a ball yesterday morning investigating her room and toys and the rest of the house. We’ve shut a few doors to limit just how much of the house she knows about right now – so as not to overwhelm her too much. I continue to sleep poorly and haven’t yet been able to nap despite being completely exhausted. Hopefully that will change soon. Things still seem to have a bit of a dream-like quality. Perhaps that will change with rest. We continue to be amazed at just how well Ivanna is doing. We are slowly getting to know better who this little girl is. We are discovering her likes and dislikes with regards to food (that can be quite funny – she has a pretty good whole body shudder when she doesn’t like something). We are guessing most of her food has been pretty bland so far in her life as anything with a lot of texture or flavour promptly gets the body shudder and spit out onto her tray. I am finding it both delightful and frustrating at different times. It would have been nice to have gotten more information from the orphanage about what foods she ate, but it is interesting to try different things with her – so far no major upsets to her tummy. This (like the whole process of adopting from Eastern Europe) is quite an adventure – probably not for the faint of heart. We are enjoying being home and are very thankful for our daughter and our family and friends who have supported us. We are blessed.

the way home (part1)

What we are learning today…
The bright side of traveling with a toddler is that you are seldom bored. The dark side: new-found freedoms are not given up without formidable protests.
We tried to stay up late last night to begin shifting our internal clocks around a bit. Well, we stayed up a bit later, and Ivanna woke up a bit earlier. Yay. We cleaned ourselves up a bit and then headed out for a walk over to Shevshenko Park, where we played for a while. Despite one noisy vote against leaving, we headed down Shevshenko boulevard (for those of you on GoogleEarth) to our grocery store to pick up a few edible/drinkable souvenirs. After that, our last shawarmas by the master. Ivanna was pretty tired by the time we were on our way home (asleep, actually), so Shona moved her to the bed for a shortish nap. We woke her up before 2 so that she’d be ready to go when Lesya and her husband picked us up. Finally the time came and we said good-bye to our apartment. Jonathan told us that Kyiv would become home for us eventually, and I think some elements stood in for a while with some pseudo-hominess for a while. We will likely recall a lot of things and feel a bit sentimental fairly soon.
Everything went well checking in and getting to our gate, except that the security gate seemed to take forever to open. But eventually, it did and we boarded our plane. Well, once on board, the captain told us that the flight controllers would not let us take off for another 30 or 40 minutes. It was not welcome news. (for those of you who did not know, we had 35 minutes between landing in Munich and taking off on our next flight – you do the math). We said a little prayer. I was kind of thinking that as long as we head West, we are going in the right direction and would trust that we would make our connection in Toronto tomorrow. Well, a while later the captain said that we had been bumped up a bit (but probably still not enough for us to make our connection). A while later still, the engines fired up and we were off. Long story somewhat shortened: we made our connection and, since the flight ended up having a bit of space, Ivanna had her own seat (except for taking off and landing – see above comment). It was wonderful! Needless to say, the plumbing fixtures on Shona are a bit loose today – for VERY good reason. We are now in London, waiting to find out the gate we’ll use for our flight to NFLD. Ivanna is overdone, but overjoyed to be able to run around a bit (on a harness/leash held by Shona – thanks Michelle E.). We are really hoping she winds down enough to sleep a bit between here and St. John’s. We love her, but at this point, Shona and I could both use a break at the same time.
Oh, one other thing, it is a very interesting experience being able to just read everything by looking at it, instantly.

Later…after running about madly, Ivanna had a bit of a meltdown. It’s very understandable. She was overtired and in a hyper-stimulating environment (Heathrow is not what one might call serene). We managed to calm her a bit by taking her to a baby change room to get a break from the noise and sights and people, and so that she could cool off (she got pretty warm). She fired up a bit again on the way to our gate, but fell asleep and slept the whole flight to St. John’s. Once again, there was a spare seat for her to lie down on. It was good. Shona managed a few winks (between kicks from Ivanna – man, does she ever thrash at points in her sleep) and I got about 30 minutes or so. We are now in the bathroom of our hotel room in St. John’s. Shona got Ivanna to sleep once in the hotel room with quiet and darkness, and we are hoping to keep her that way for a while (and hoping to join her soon).

pics...

leaving Boyarka...



first meal at the apartment

not sure if I like that...

Friday ... finally!

We have had quite an exciting final full day in Kyiv. I did not sleep well – Ivanna was a little restless last night and I feel like I woke up everytime she turned over (which was frequent). I certainly woke up each time she bonked her little head on either our bed frame or the wardrobe on the other side. It’s not like she’s cramped – there’s at least 3 feet of space for her! She would cry out briefly each time she bonked and then would settle right back to sleep – not so for her mama. Anyway, I woke up for good by 6, made myself stay in bed until 6:30 and then got up to write in my journal – it’s been a week (a busy one!). Darren got up at 7:30 and Ivanna finally woke up close to 8. Apparently her crazy running around and playing yesterday afternoon took a little out of her! We had a nice leisurely morning and slowly got all three of us ready to go by 11. Vadim picked us up and we headed to get Irina. We then got photos for Ivanna’s Visa and headed to the Canadian Embassy. When the woman who does Visas came down she said that she couldn’t process Ivanna’s Visa today because she hadn’t yet received the second Letter of No Objection. Our hearts dropped and I’m sure mine stopped for a few seconds. We KNOW that our social worker sent it by courier weeks ago, but telling the lady this made no difference. She said if we could get it sent (fax would do for today) before 5PM she could process the visa – otherwise, we couldn’t leave because they are closed on Saturdays. I have to say we were both feeling rather panicked at that point. Irina was quite calm about it and said we would call Rodica. We left the forms (in case we could get everything sent in time) and left. Irina was immediately on the phone with Lesya who then called Rodica (from our agency in Ontario) and when we got home we also called Michelle (our social worker from DCRE -at home, we are very thankful she had given us her home number and that as it happens she’d had a strong coffee that night and wasn’t sleeping when I called!) who headed in to work for us a 3:30AM Saskatoon time to fax the letter (Thank you SO much Michelle!!). In the end, I think the Embassy got faxed the letter both from Rodica (who had a copy) and from Michelle. Better more than not enough – that’s for sure. It has been quite an emotional few hours. I have to admit – I’m a bit of a basket case. We did receive all the copies of the documents today from Irina and it was very neat (if also rather emotional) to read through all the documents – especially the court judgment and her new birth certificate – both naming us as parents. Wow.
After signing more documents at the notary’s office, we drove home and said good-bye and thank-you to Irina and Vadim. It’s hard to believe we leave tomorrow. We are so grateful. We had a nice supper of leftovers (and a nice chat with Tanis – it was almost like she had supper with us) and are now at Mario’s for dessert with the Andrews. And, as a very good ending to a strenuous day, the wi-fi is up. Yay!

thursday

Wow. It’s been an amazing 24 hours. We have a daughter who is currently ripping around the apartment playing with everything from our tea towel to theraband to her teddy bear. Pretty much everything she finds becomes a toy. It’s so incredible to watch her delight in everything. She has come so much out of her quiet shell in the last day, it’s amazing. Last night we went for a walk and ended up in the at a play park in one half of the botanical gardens. She of course had the required swing time and just watched all the kids and people. We have discovered she absolutely loves animals (we knew of course she likes creepy chickens) but every animal she saw any (pigeons, other birds, a cat, many dogs) she would point and vocalize something (woof for the dogs) and have this look of absolute delight and awe. She managed to get her first pony ride (I am a sucker). She saw a little pony in the park that a fellow was taking kids for rides. He obviously saw a customer because he indicated she could have a ride. I said ‘no, she’s too little’. He then indicated she could just pet the pony, which led to him indicating that she should just sit on the pony, which as soon as I sat her on there, he started the pony going and had me hold her leg (she held onto the little handle on the saddle). We walked a short loop, which she loved and he earned a few dollars. We then headed to Mario’s to meet the Andrews for dessert. We were a little early so we walked around the block first so Ivanna wouldn’t have to sit for too long. By the end of the block she was rocking side to side and singing a little song – it was great. She did really well in the restaurant, playing for about an hour with some papers and sharing a little of my dessert. She was pretty content and not concerned at all with the strangers – they even got to see a couple of smiles. We are thrilled as hopefully if things continue to go well, we won’t have to hermit too much in the next weeks. She went to bed well, with only about 5 seconds of crying before she settled in to snuggle with me and then was asleep in about 10 minutes. She slept through the night except for briefly waking up when she rolled off the cushion she was sleeping on. I just put her back on the cushion and she went right to sleep again until 7:00am. Fantastic! I slept better than I expected considering there was this little alien on the floor beside me! We had a great morning and managed to get ready and out the door around 9 (Ivanna was ready, having brought us her shoes and hat around 8!). We walked to pick up the Andrews and then walked down to Kreschatik to meet another Canadian couple. We had a great time visiting and getting to know everyone. It is nice for the two couples to meet as they are both now waiting for second appointments at the SDA – they can be good supports and company for each other – especially while they are both in Kyiv. Darren and Ivanna and I headed back to the apartment after a little shopping in Independence Square. We had a little lunch (which Ivanna devoured) and then she and I attempted to lay down for a nap. I’ll give you the short version and say that things didn’t go as smoothly as yesterday. After an hour of various attempts on and off and much crying (mostly on Ivanna’s part) we (she and I) decided enough was enough and gave up on the nap. She’s been going strong ever since (it’s now 5:45) so she either didn’t need the nap and/or she’s (hopefully) going to crash well tonight. Darren just got back after a long and tiring afternoon of waiting and driving – getting her passport and legalizing documents. Tomorrow we get her visa and then we leave Saturday. CRAZY!! We are heading to Mario’s for supper with the Andrews and hopefully the wi-fi will work tonight.

Wednesday

What a day! After a lesiurely morning at the apartment, Slava and Vadim picked us up and we headed off to do a bit more process stuff. We made two brief stops and headed out to Boyarka. Upon arrival, we spoke briefly to the Italian couple we’ve gotten to know a bit at the orphanage (we think they are set to go home this week as well). We then headed upstairs and waited briefly before Ivanna was brought to us. Apparently, she had not had any lunch (as kids often get car sick leaving their orphanages). Tatianna told us that she had been sitting at the table propping her head in hands, obviously none too pleased at not getting to eat with the rest of her group. She was a bit more tentative today. She seemed to sense that something was up. Things were not as normal. She was content to snuggle with Shona for a bit. Then Shona undressed Ivanna, and while she dressed her in her new clothes, I folded up her old ones. It felt like a pretty meaningful set of actions – marking so many changes. Slava and Tatianna asked us to sign a couple of documents and then we said a quick good-bye (and slightly teary thank-you – how do you express the depth of gratitude to a person who was an integral caregiver for your daughter?) to Tatianna, who said “Ivanna is super.” We know it. We stopped to give hugs and kisses to the Italian couple and then jumped into the car and drove away. And that was it. (Sho - For us it felt way to quick and we didn’t get all we wanted as far as information and moments there – it wasn’t what I had envisioned, but sitting here now and thinking about it – I realize that it was probably better for her not to have it drawn out.) Ivanna was very alert and pretty stiff, but not visibly upset. She watched everything pretty intently – including Vadim, when he stopped to get some petrol (standing on Shona’s lap with her head out the window!). We had a very zig-zaggy (hmm. Jason, is that ‘good’?) ride back to the apartment, and Ivanna fell asleep and slept nicely for a few minutes – twitching and jerking once in a while. Shona asked me if we were sure she has none of our genetics (I twitch a lot when falling asleep). When we got back to our place, Slava told us about the plans for the next couple of days. Apparently I am going to do a bit of running around tomorrow afternoon (thankfully, Shona and Ivanna can stay at home). Then, on Friday we will go do the visa stuff at the Canadian embassy. Shona and Slava said their good-byes (since Shona won’t see her again) and we came upstairs. Ivanna woke up when the door closed, so we offered her some food. She seems to play a little game when you offer her something she is not sure about. She kind of cocks her head to one side and gives a little smile (I have the feeling she is training us here). At first, we thought it was her way of saying ‘no’. But after Shona and I both laughed several times when she did it, I offered her a taste of something else. She cocked her head at first, but when I moved the spoon closer, she tried it. Let the social learning games begin! Now, Shona and Ivanna are having a rest in the bedroom. We expect to get out to the playground a bit later, then come home for a meal prepared for us by Jonathan when he was here (we’ve been saving it in the freezer – thanks, bro). It’s hard to believe we are finally here. We feel very blessed, very thankful. Slava Bogu.
(Sho now) We keep having to go have a little peek at this amazing little girl who is our daughter and is sleeping on the bed with her arms flopped out to the side. She’s real!